PROVERB POINTS:
The Wise or Foolish Son
By James Christian
April 27, 2008

  Welcome to the very first Proverb Points! Some readers may be surprised to see that we are not starting with Proverbs 1, but with Proverbs 10. The reason for this is because the first nine chapters of Proverbs extol the virtues of wisdom, and they can be considered an introduction to the whole book. They are excellent chapters, and I encourage everyone to study them thoroughly. However, my desire with Proverb Points is to focus on only one or two verses and really understand the principles contained in them. Someday we may eventually look at the first nine chapters, but chapter ten begins the section of short proverbs, and this will be most condusive to a newsletter format. Now that you know why we are starting with chapter ten, let's begin...

"A wise son makes a glad father,
       But a foolish son is the grief of his mother."
(Proverbs 10:1, NKJV)

 
  In the first chapter of Proverbs we see that Solomon is speaking to his son (Prov. 1:8), and throughout the book the audience is addressed as "my son" (6:1; 7:1; 23:15, 24:13; 27:11). Therefore, the instructions in this book can be considered the wisdom of a godly father speaking to his son. Furthermore, God Himself inspired the book of Proverbs and gave Solomon his wisdom (1 Kings 3:12), so we can also receive this book as the wisdom of God the Father speaking to us, the sons of His kingdom.

  The first short proverb speaks of a son and the two ways he can go:  he can either be wise or foolish. A wise son makes his father glad, but a foolish son brings grief to his mother. Throughout Proverbs, such parallellism is common with regard to fathers and mothers, and this is simply a poetic way of speaking about both parents. Certainly both father and mother are glad when their child is wise, and both are grieved when their child is foolish. Following the same principle, even though this verse specifically refers to a son, it applies equally to a daughter.

  We can look at this proverb from two perspectives--the child's perspective and the parents' perspective.

  The Child.  This proverb certainly implies that we should seek to be wise and flee from foolishness and folly. What does it mean to be wise? In the New Testament, we are told that Christ has become "wisdom to us from God" (1 Cor. 1:30). Christ is our wisdom. Therefore, to become wise does not mean that we should seek worldly wisdom, but the wisdom of God. We should seek Christ as our wisdom. In Solomon's day, God placed wisdom and understanding in the king's heart, but we are even more privileged than Solomon--we have Christ Himself as our wisdom! The more we seek the Lord, learn His ways, and grow in Christ, we will become wise. We need God's wisdom in our prayers, our job, our marriage, our rest--in everything we do.

  As the proverb states, being wise in God's ways will bring a benefit to our relationship with our parents:  it will make them glad. Even if our parents are not believers in Christ and even if they openly oppose the Lord, God's principles will still make us wise, and this will bring many benefits--we will have a suitable career, a stable marriage, a manageable income, and a godly character. Even if our parents oppose us for believing in the Lord Jesus, deep in their souls, they will still be glad we know how to take responsibility for our lives and have not taken the way of foolishness. Our parents may not be happy that we are following the Lord, but they will certainly experience gladness when we are living wisely in our daily lives.

  However, as the proverb indicates, if we reject wisdom and take the way of foolishness, we will cause a great deal of grief. Whenever children make foolish decisions, it often creates embarassment for the parents. If the child keeps making foolish decisions, the parents will often feel that they have to bail them out, and they will often wonder if they have failed as a parent. (This does not mean that they have failed, but it is a common feeling.) By pursuing wisdom, we can save our parents this grief.

  Even if our parents are no longer alive or we never knew our parents or they refuse to speak to us, we can still honor our father and mother by seeking wisdom. Living wisely will bring honor to the family name, and living foolishly will bring disgrace. Furthermore, in addition to our parents' joy, our own spirit will be glad when we are walking in the ways of God's wisdom.

  The Parents.  When it says that a wise son makes a father glad, the word for glad literally means "to cause to rejoice." Parents, do you rejoice when your child acts wisely? The New Testament says, "Fathers, do not discourage your children, so that they will not lose heart" (Col. 3:21). The opposite of discouraging is encouraging. Therefore, parents should encourage their children to seek wisdom and rejoice when they do. Most of us can testify that a parent's encouragment and joy powerfully provide a powerful motivation to continue on the right path.

  The second part of the proverb is:  "But a foolish son is the grief of his mother." The word for grief means "sorrow, grief, heaviness". Parents, do you grieve when your child acts foolishly? Of course, every child is responsible for his choices, so we should not blame ourselves up over poor decisions our children make. But it is only natural for loving parents to desire the best for their children, and there is nothing wrong with grieving when they go the way of folly. God the Father is the perfect Parent, yet His children still make foolish decisions. The foolish decisions are not His fault, but He most certainly grieves over them. Therefore, parents do not need to experience undue guilt for their children's poor decisions. However, it is good and proper to grieve when those we love make foolish decisions. On the one hand, we should encourage our children to seek wisdom and rejoice with them when they do. On the other hand, when children act foolishly, we should grieve for them and encourage them back to the right path.

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